Introduction:

Forgiveness is a key teaching of Jesus; it is central to the Lord’s Prayer.

Having our wrongdoings erased or forgiven is a universal human desire.  Religions of old including Judaism in the day of Jesus used animal sacrifices.  The Catholic Church uses confession and penance prayers.  For Jesus, the way of erasing old wrongdoings is to forgive others.

The benefits of succeeding in forgiving those who have wronged us is felt immediately.  We will treat ourselves as we treat others. When we forgive others, the “inner light” or the “holy spirit” within us will also forgive us.

When we suffer a wrong against us, it is normal to be angry and to have revenge thoughts.  Forgiveness is never immediate. It often seems impossible.

Two things help.  The first is to direct our attention away from the offending action (attention on the offending event makes us angrier) and rather to focus on our response, on our anger.  The second is to forgive for short periods of time, even for one minute, during prayer or meditation.

 

The Sayings of Jesus:

The Parable of the Lost Son

Luke 15: 11-32
11 Then Jesus continued: “A man had two sons; 12 and the younger of them said to his father ‘Father, give me my share of the inheritance.’ So the father divided the property between them.

13 A few days later the younger son got together all that he had, and went away into a distant land; and there he squandered his inheritance by leading a dissolute life. 14 After he has spent all that he had, there was a severe famine through all that country, and he began to be in actual want. 15 So he went and engaged himself to one of the people of that country, who sent him into his fields to tend pigs. 16 He even longed to satisfy his hunger with the bean-pods on which the pigs were feeding; and no one gave him anything. 17 But, when he came to himself, he said ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have more bread than they can eat, while here am I starving to death! 18 I will get up and go to my father, and say to him “Father, I sinned against heaven and against you; 19 I am no longer fit to be called your son; make me one of your hired servants.”’

20 And he got up and went to his father. But, while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was deeply moved; he ran and threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. 21 ‘Father,’ the son said, ‘I sinned against heaven and against you; I am no longer fit to be called your son; make me one of your hired servants.’ 22 But the father turned to his servants and said ‘Be quick and fetch a robe — the very best — and put it on him; give him a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet; 23 and bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and make merry; 24 for here is my son who was dead, and is alive again, was lost, and is found.’ So they began making merry.

25 Meanwhile the elder son was out in the fields; but, on coming home, when he got near the house, he heard music and dancing, 26 and he called one of the servants and asked what it all meant. 27 ‘Your brother has come back,’ the servant told him, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf, because he has him back safe and sound.’ 28 This made him angry, and he would not go in. But his father came out and begged him to do so. 29 ‘No,’ he said to his father, ‘look at all the years I have been serving you, without ever once disobeying you, and yet you have never given me even a young goat, so that I might have a merrymaking with my friends. 30 But, no sooner has this son of yours come, who has eaten up your property in the company of prostitutes, than you have killed the fattened calf for him.’

31 ‘Child,’ the father answered, ‘you are always with me, and everything that I have is yours. 32 We could but make merry and rejoice, for here is your brother who was dead, and is alive; who was lost, and is found.’”

 

Unforgiving Slave

Matthew 18:  21-34
21 Then Peter came up, and said to Jesus: “Master, how often am I to forgive someone who wrongs me? As many as seven times?” 22 But Jesus answered: “Not seven times, but ‘seventy times seven.’

23 Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. 24 When he had begun to do so, one of them was brought to him who owed him ten thousand bags of gold; 25 and, as he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold towards the payment of the debt, together with his wife, and his children, and everything that he had. 26 The servant threw himself down on the ground before him and said ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ 27 The master was moved with compassion; and he let him go, and forgave him the debt.

28 But, on going out, that same servant came upon one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. Seizing him by the throat, he said ‘Pay what you owe me.’ 29 His fellow servant threw himself on the ground and begged for mercy. ‘Have patience with me,’ he said, ‘and I will pay you.’ 30 But the other would not, but went and put him in prison until he should pay his debt.

31 When his fellow servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and went to their master and laid the whole matter before him. 32 So the master sent for the servant, and said to him ‘You wicked servant! When you begged me for mercy, I forgave you the whole of that debt. 33 Shouldn’t you, also, to have shown mercy to your fellow servant, just as I showed mercy to you?’ 34 Then his master, in anger, handed him over to the jailers, until he should pay the whole of his debt.

 

Stories and Commentary:

If one could step out of their anger after being injured and observe what happens with forgiveness or non-forgiveness, this is what one would see.

The non-forgiver stays miserable and is forever tied emotionally to the person and events that injured them.  The original injury is compounded over and over.

The one who forgives loses their anger, cuts loose those that have hurt them, moves on with their life, and becomes happy again.